About this episode:

In this opening episode of “This Is How We Care”, host Emily Race-Newmark shares the learnings that shaped the recent name change from “Founding Mothers” to “This Is How We Care”, and what to expect in this upcoming season.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Follow @thisishowwecare on Instagram

• Join our Patreon Community

• Work with Toi Marie

• If you want to listen to the Grounding Prayer (shared at the end of this episode) on its own, check that out separately here.

Full Episode Transcript:

[00:00:00] Emily Race-Newmark: Welcome to This is How We Care, a podcast where we look at what it means to embody care, not as an individual practice, but a collective one, and to see what kind of world emerges from this place.

[00:00:12] Thank you for being here. I am your host, Emily Race.

[00:00:15] Emily Race-Newmark: Hello. If you're joining us for the first time, welcome. Thanks for being here. And if you've been on this journey with us already, welcome back. Thanks so much for returning. 

[00:00:25] Emily Race-Newmark: You may notice that we went through a name change. Previously, this podcast was called Founding Mothers, and our first season was released under that name in Brand Messaging.

[00:00:34] Emily Race-Newmark: And I wanted to spend a little bit of time addressing why that name change happened, sharing a bit of transparency behind the learning process that took place, before we get into what to expect for the next season. 

[00:00:47] Emily Race-Newmark: First, I want to state that the core of this podcast's intention between "Founding Mothers" and "How We Care" is more or less the same.

[00:00:55] Emily Race-Newmark: And one of those value pillars that stays consistent is this value of growth and learning and getting there by listening and asking questions, experimenting and noticing what we discover in that process. 

[00:01:08] Emily Race-Newmark: So that's what happened here. The evolution of "Founding Mothers" to "How We Care" is an example of what occurs in that learning process.

[00:01:16] Emily Race-Newmark: I do want to acknowledge that the name Founding Mothers was inspiring to many of you, myself included, and I want to thank you for that feedback. And I also heard from others that the name was confusing, and in some ways distracting from the core of our message and what we really intended to focus on.

[00:01:31] Emily Race-Newmark: And this was in part because Season 1 started with a general sense of what we wanted to look at, which was imagining new ways of living, without really clarifying what kind of ways, what kind of world, were we looking to build or rebirth together. 

[00:01:46] Emily Race-Newmark: Was it a world that is innately feminine at its core?

[00:01:49] Emily Race-Newmark: Is it a world that honors and celebrates mothers?

[00:01:52] Emily Race-Newmark: Perhaps; these were questions that I was sitting with at times, but what I discovered, and what I think many listeners also learned through the process of hearing from our guests in Season 1, is that we're ultimately looking for a world that honors and celebrates care. One of the biggest learnings from this past season, both with the podcast and in my own life, was really coming to terms with the inherent problems that get created by continuing to exclusively associate care with mothering, or mothering with care.

[00:02:20] Emily Race-Newmark: So by using the word "founding mothers", was I really talking about care? And if so, then why not explicitly say that? 

[00:02:28] Emily Race-Newmark: Let's unpack this a little bit. On one hand, the intention was to celebrate mothers, both those literal and metaphorical, because there's many important elements that come from mothering that have gotten overlooked or dismissed or disvalued over the years and almost invisibilized in that process, and there's so many ways that mothers are not supported.

[00:02:47] Emily Race-Newmark: But what I think this is really pointing to, and again, many of our conversations last season helped me really see this, is that this is more so a conversation and a question of how we relate to care itself. And caregiving is obviously not exclusively tied to mothers. There are caregivers who are not mothers, there are caregivers of different genders, and caring is not only a feminine act, right?

[00:03:12] Emily Race-Newmark: It's not only associated with the feminine. And in fact, part of the issue is when we continue to associate this way, we're putting this unequal burden or responsibility on the weight or shoulders of women and mothers, and we're also putting in the shadows or continuing to keep invisible those who are caring, who care give, and do not fall into those categories.

[00:03:32] Emily Race-Newmark: Part of my hope here is that by releasing the gendered language around caring, we're going to widen the aperture and say, Hey, this is actually not something only for women and mothers. We're inviting others into the fold to see the ways in which caring and caregiving already exists within them and also opening up some curiosity, right?

[00:03:51] Emily Race-Newmark: To see how for some folks to see how might this take shape in my own life. If this is now an option for me to really safely and welcomingly look at. 

[00:04:00] Emily Race-Newmark: There was another important piece for me to unpack when it came to the origin of "Founding Mothers" and the intention there. And that was its ties to in the play on language of founding fathers.

[00:04:10] Emily Race-Newmark: So if you're familiar with our first season, it actually opened with the teaser: "we know what kind of world the Founding Fathers created, but what kind of society would the Founding Mothers birth to life?" 

[00:04:20] Emily Race-Newmark: I really honor the part of myself that first listened to this vision and brought it into existence with the help of so many others through the experiment that was season one.

[00:04:29] Emily Race-Newmark: I believe that this whisper that came to me of "the founding mothers" was the first step in my journey meeting me where I was at that time. And without making myself wrong and truly witnessing from this perspective that I have now, I can see that I was actually in a reactive mode.

[00:04:44] Emily Race-Newmark: There was definitely this creative, inspiring element to things, but I was truly in reaction mode to the context, the paradigm that I saw the Founding Fathers had created. And I was creating something that would be the opposite of that. And I think if we're talking about imagining new worlds, it's really an interesting distinction, right?

[00:05:03] Emily Race-Newmark: One being we can create in reaction to something which may actually have similar flavors of that thing, and then perhaps unconsciously carrying on some of that legacy or some of those behaviors or those mindsets without even meaning to, or we could start from a place of first grieving, completing, ending, letting die what once was, sitting in that space of the unknown, that kind of dark night of the soul, the womb, and let something new come to be, to be born in its own timing. 

[00:05:33] Emily Race-Newmark: And that is literally what I went through. I had to grieve what once was. It was super uncomfortable. I had to sit in the unknown and then "This is How We Care" was able to emerge. 

[00:05:44] Emily Race-Newmark: I wanted to speak to that because I think this is such an important part about change making and this podcast, this platform is here to hold space for what it takes to change, what it takes to live in alignment with our values, which will naturally involve letting go of old ways in order for new ways to come about.

[00:06:00] Emily Race-Newmark: For me really began with the tension. So I want to name that, that there was this tension that I was starting to feel in my body and then in the feedback from the world around me that I was leaving some people behind. People that if they actually understood what this platform was about, the intention of these conversations and the messages, they would be here.

[00:06:17] Emily Race-Newmark: They would be on this journey with us because they would see how it pertains to them. They are about it. They're about these values. And yet they were being left out. They were not seeing themselves in this. 

[00:06:29] Emily Race-Newmark: That really had me pause, not so much out of a people pleasing aspect, which I had to check for myself, like, am I doing this just to try to get more listeners and followers and appeal to a wider group of people and out of fear of turning certain people away?

[00:06:43] Emily Race-Newmark: And the reality was, no, I just don't think I'm reaching the people that I'm meant to reach, because this name is actually more limiting than it is expansive. 

[00:06:51] Emily Race-Newmark: Like I said, the experience of then choosing to change something was extremely difficult, and it took many waves. It was not quick and easy.

[00:06:59] Emily Race-Newmark: There was the waves of letting go, and then I would cling back on and be like, nope, I'm going to keep it. And then I would let go again. Really these contractions, right? And then I had to determine in that process and answer questions for myself around, well why am I changing this? Who am I changing it for?

[00:07:15] Emily Race-Newmark: And who is this platform ultimately for? Is it for me, or who is it for? And if it's not going to be Founding Mothers, then what is the name going to be? And I had to sit in the very uncomfortable experience of not knowing the answer, all while feeling this urgency to know it right now, to get something out there, because I couldn't waste any more time, you know, this like internal timeline that I felt, created by myself, that I was taking too long to get the next season out into the world.

[00:07:42] Emily Race-Newmark: And listen, a lot more time passed between season one and season two than I would have liked, but I'm glad that it took the time that it took, because in that I was able to work with some really amazing mentors who guided me in conversations to get honest and clear with myself. I was able to sit with the entity or the soul that is this brand, the soul of this movement, and understand what it wanted to be.

[00:08:04] Emily Race-Newmark: Not what I thought it needed to be, but what it truly wanted to be. 

[00:08:07] Emily Race-Newmark: And then listen to these answers and commune with something bigger than myself, while also having the opportunity to sound ideas off of my community of friends, family members, and listeners, until it became very, very clear that there was something resonant and rising to the surface, which was "This is How We Care".

[00:08:25] Emily Race-Newmark: Let's talk about the name and what's next. 

[00:08:28] Emily Race-Newmark: What I love about this name is that it is literal. And it also carries many meanings. On one level, there's this bit of a "how to" guide of how we create a world that centers care, like, this is how. While also acknowledging that there's not one way, there's not one guidebook, it's really creating the space for the "we".

[00:08:46] Emily Race-Newmark: That we, the guests, the listeners, those who are holding these questions and dreaming these dreams, don't have all the pieces of the puzzle on our own, but if we're courageous enough to try and ask the questions and listen, really, really listen, we'll be able to take steps to discovering what wants to emerge together.

[00:09:04] Emily Race-Newmark: There's also this energy for me and kind of a play on this idea of, this is how we give a shit, we care, we give a shit. So many of us have such a big heart, and we're moved by the number of injustices in the world, the ways that systems are failing us, the ways that things are no longer working, the people who are getting left out of receiving basic human rights, and we're ready for something new. We want to shift our orientation to not just being witnesses in this paradigm that is not working for us, but actually being co creators of what could be. 

[00:09:36] Emily Race-Newmark: In other words, this is about each of us tapping into what it is that we really, really deeply care about, and then living from that place, even when it's scary, even when it requires us to grow, to release old ways of being, what's familiar, in, in exchange for what's unfamiliar and uncomfortable for a moment in time.

[00:09:55] Emily Race-Newmark: And we do not have to do that alone. That's really something I want to emphasize here, and again, something that I'm hoping to cultivate with the next iteration of this podcast and the platform. It became so clear to me through the visions of the other guests in last season that without community, without a collective orientation, we are stuck in a prison of isolation, right?

[00:10:15] Emily Race-Newmark: We're trying to solve for collective problems through an individual lens, and this is what is leaving us feeling futile and helpless and exhausted and burnt out. 

[00:10:23] Emily Race-Newmark: The viewpoint of the individual also has us really disillusioned to think that we're separate from one another or alone in our experience of the world rather than part of this beautiful tapestry that includes so many other forms of life and ways of living and expression and moving and being and generating and dying.

[00:10:40] Emily Race-Newmark: And so when it comes to the topic of care, it is so imperative that we begin from the understanding that care is collective. And listen, this is not something I have come up with. I'm not the originator of this idea. This is something that I have been listening and hearing, especially from communities of color, indigenous communities, those who have been historically and presently marginalized and oppressed because it seems to be understood, that when there's systems around us that are designed to make us feel like we're powerless, they're designed to keep us isolated, it's a tactic, and in some instances a very successful one, but through this power and this remembrance of the collective, the collective body, we start to see a new form of our power where resources are distributed in new and different ways.

[00:11:26] Emily Race-Newmark: I personally have been craving very, very strongly to be a part of something bigger than myself to feel like I'm a part of a community, a group of other people who cares enough to ask these questions and to make choices that live in alignment with their values and to do this all as an experiment, not from a place of perfection or whatever right or wrong, good or bad. You get an A if you do it. You get a fail, if you don't do it. You get ostracized and canceled from society, if you do it wrong. 

[00:11:54] Emily Race-Newmark: It's an experiment. It's a creative process. And this is something that one of our guests this season, Mariah, speaks to. The creative process of living.

[00:12:02] Emily Race-Newmark: This platform continues to be an experiment, and this is, in many ways, an experiment for me to create the community that I'm seeking for myself, by creating a space where that could show up. So, if you're here, thank you, thank you, thank you. You are resourcing me, and I hope that I am also giving to you, supporting you, resourcing you in the ways that you're seeking.

[00:12:26] Emily Race-Newmark: There's a distinction around community I want to make. One of my mentors, Toi Marie, was speaking to the fact that community isn't this thing that we just can claim, it's not something that we just get to create a group on Facebook and say, this is our community, or some other form of online gathering.

[00:12:40] Emily Race-Newmark: There is a relationality at play at the heart of community in order for a community to really exist as such. I really am holding this as an experiment, knowing that I actually have no idea in this moment how the community will actually take shape and form, but I'm trusting that with the intention that I'm putting out there right there and have been putting out there that it will..

[00:12:59] Emily Race-Newmark: And there's some ideas that I have, and I've been working with our team to look at how we can create opportunities for gathering and sharing with each other, with the hopes that from there, this organic community building will take place. 

[00:13:14] Emily Race-Newmark: In the meantime, here's what I'm asking from you. First, a very simple thing you could do, a simple action you could take, is join our newsletter.

[00:13:23] Emily Race-Newmark: By doing so, you're saying, I'd like to be a part of this experiment and journey. I want to move beyond just passive listening to actually being engaged. And this is a way to open up that channel to not just listening, but also reaching out and sharing what you need, giving us your feedback.

[00:13:39] Emily Race-Newmark: It's also where we'll share announcements and opportunities for where future gatherings, should they come to be, will be taking place. And I cannot emphasize enough how much we want to hear from you because We want to respond, as we have done here, to what our listeners are craving, asking for, the questions you want to get answered, your own hopes and longings.

[00:13:58] Emily Race-Newmark: This is really imperative, right? I cannot create something on my own, as I've said, this has to come from our collective creation. 

[00:14:07] Emily Race-Newmark: And closely connected to this is how can we move beyond just talking about what's possible, but actually bringing those possibilities into being. The ones that really hit a heartstring with us, that speak to our soul, that awaken within us hope, or the taste of something that once was or could be, the things that our souls and our bodies are longing for, those visions, the ones that the earth, the greater collective is calling for, I want us to now practice those, to embody them, to bring them to life through our own being, our own actions.

[00:14:38] Emily Race-Newmark: And so throughout the season, we've, we've taken new steps, new approaches at how we could support you in bringing these visions to life through practice, through action, through reflection. And we'll be offering these not through, just through the podcast, but also through our newsletter. So another reason to stay tuned there through our social media and on our Patreon channel.

[00:15:00] Emily Race-Newmark: On the topic of the Patreon channel, this is something that we're opening up this season to open that channel to receiving support. So those of you who really love this content, you appreciate the time that goes into producing this, the time that the guests are giving us. You can contribute financially as low as 5 a month through a subscription at our Patreon.

[00:15:21] Emily Race-Newmark: And in doing so, you're going to get access to bonus content from some of the interviews. You will also be supporting this work. Your money goes to everything to our team editing these episodes, to the guests themselves, to the time that it takes to produce all of the video clips, and the social media content, and all the ways that we're trying to break down these visions into digestible pieces.

[00:15:44] Emily Race-Newmark: So if you really appreciate what we're doing, we appreciate you contributing to us if you can in this way. 

[00:15:52] Emily Race-Newmark: And of course you can also contribute by sharing this podcast with those in your life, sharing our Instagram posts, encouraging others to listen to certain episodes if you feel like it will speak to them.

[00:16:02] Emily Race-Newmark: That's obviously at the end of the day what we're trying to do is to grow our listenership in service of these visions getting out to more and more people, and hopefully helping to awaken the inner change makers and those who find us, who have been searching for a space like this one.

[00:16:16] Emily Race-Newmark: There's two other things that we're trying this season. One is we're playing with a new kind of edit. From the first season, our conversations were being released pretty close to the actual interview itself and they were landing around 45 minutes to an hour long.

[00:16:31] Emily Race-Newmark: Many of us are trying to divest from urgency culture and so many of us still feel trapped inside of this and we feel limited in our time and not everyone has a full hour to be able to give to a podcast. Some of us have shorter attention spans or are juggling many different priorities, but we still care about these messages.

[00:16:49] Emily Race-Newmark: Our goal is to have every episode be around 20 to 30 minutes long. And then the bonus content, of course, if you're loving the topic or the speaker, which you can find on Patreon. 

[00:16:59] Emily Race-Newmark: We're also introducing a seperate clip for each guest that features a grounding exercise that we did with the guests at the start of the interview.

[00:17:07] Emily Race-Newmark: This is edited out separately so you can dive into that at a time that works for you and your schedule. Maybe you like to listen to podcasts while you're cooking or you're driving or you're multitasking. You can then return to the grounding practice that's a separate five minute or so clip and do that in a time when you're able to really give it the attention that we're hoping you can give it.

[00:17:29] Emily Race-Newmark: Why are we doing a grounding practice? Well, first, I was inspired by another podcast that started one of their episodes this way, I was brought into this world of being conscious of my breath, of my body, of my internal state, when I otherwise would not have done that. And so I really appreciated being guided in that direction, and I thought this would actually be a really great way, not only to start each of our episodes, but also to get to know our guests.

[00:17:53] Emily Race-Newmark: For us, the flavor here is the practices are led by each guest each time. They're completely different styles. Sometimes it's a meditation or embodiment or movement. Other times it's a poem or something that someone's reading. It's many different ways of getting "grounded". 

[00:18:10] Emily Race-Newmark: I personally benefited so much from starting each episode this way and I found it to be a really fun way truly to get to know our guests.

[00:18:16] Emily Race-Newmark: So I hope that you take advantage of those clips and listen to those alongside the episodes. 

[00:18:21] Emily Race-Newmark: I'll close out with two things. One, a reminder to sign up for our newsletter, join our Patreon and support us that way, share this podcast with your friends and family and loved ones, and make sure that you follow us on Instagram where we'll be sharing some content there.

[00:18:36] Emily Race-Newmark: But all those asks aside, I really wanted to end with a prayer. 

[00:18:40] Emily Race-Newmark: A prayer for you to carry with you as you continue your day, and a prayer for us to carry with us as we step into the journey of this next season together. 

[00:18:51] Emily Race-Newmark: So just shifting our energy, taking a couple breaths, bringing awareness to where the breath falls in your body, and if you're able to, closing your eyes. To bring that energy from the outer world into the inner.

[00:19:14] Emily Race-Newmark: I pray that we may return home to ourselves, to the part of ourselves that cares so deeply. The part of ourselves that already knows what it means to live from this place that has been here before.

[00:19:33] Emily Race-Newmark: That is ready to take the courageous actions to shed what no longer is serving us, serving our communities, our planet. To find those to take these steps with. To remove any illusions that we are separate or have to do this work alone.

[00:19:56] Emily Race-Newmark: To send out our own prayers to the world to find those people, those helpers, those spaces, those trees, those spirit beings to aid us in this process. As we remember our interconnection with all that ever was, that ever is, that ever will be.

[00:20:24] Emily Race-Newmark: I pray that we may listen deeply. To what matters,

[00:20:31] Emily Race-Newmark: not just to ourselves, but to the world around us that we are a part of,

[00:20:39] Emily Race-Newmark: to pay close attention to the power that exists in this listening, the power that exists in our prayers,

[00:20:53] Emily Race-Newmark: in our intentions, in our actions, that we reclaim our power back from those systems. Those structures, those paradigms that had us believe the power was theirs and return it to us, the collective us, to do with it what is needed at this time.

[00:21:28] Emily Race-Newmark: May you see yourself as part of that change. May you know exactly which next step to take, the most loving next step to take. And release any worry, stress, or sense of pressure that you have to know all the answers in this moment in order to move forward.

[00:21:55] Emily Race-Newmark: And as we envision a world of care, may we move with care for ourselves, for our bodies, our tender spirits, the inner children within us, our ancestors, our families, our communities, the earth that we stand on, the homes that we reside in, the plants and the animals that we may eat or engage with.

[00:22:23] Emily Race-Newmark: May we move with care in the face of what is not working. May we meet those things with care, those people with care, those systems with care. And in doing so, embody what it is that we're asking to see more of. And releasing any ties to old conditioning, to reactive states. And in all of this, may we remember that we are human.

[00:22:56] Emily Race-Newmark: We are here to learn, to fumble, to be messy, to make mistakes, to ask for forgiveness, to forgive, to be in relationship with each other, which is a messy experience. And to see that as part of the delightful Human condition that we are gifted with being here right now

[00:23:22] Emily Race-Newmark: with deep gratitude for receiving this prayer. May you find what speaks to you and leave the rest. May you find the prayer of your own heart and speak that into existence and may you know that you are not alone. And so it is.

[00:23:46] Emily Race-Newmark: Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening and receiving this prayer. Thank you for being on this journey with me. I look forward to connecting with you. I hope to hear from you. I hope to meet you someday. I hope to hear what longings and dreams you have for the world, what you're learning, and to support one another on this journey together.

[00:24:08]Emily Race-Newmark: Take care.